what language do my children speak?

Sometimes I wonder if I speak the same language as my children. They just seem to hear something else completely when I talk to them.

Here is what I say: "Please get dressed."
They hear:"Take part of your clothes off and run around naked for a while until I get upset and threaten you with time out."

I say: "Play nicely"
They hear: "Run around like wild things until someone gets knocked down and hurt."

I say: "Time for dinner."
They hear: "Beg and whine for a snack"

I say: "Do your chores."
They hear: nothing

It's fun to interpret what Sissy says sometimes, too. Not that she doesn't speak clearly, but she does like to imitate mommy. The way she does it is just a little funny though, so here is how I interpret what she says (although she is getting out of this stage now)

She says: "Get down?"
I hear: "I am climbing on something I am not supposed to be on"

She says: "Get a towel?"
I hear: "I have just spilled something and made a mess."

She says: "Be nice?"
I hear: "I have just hit my brother"

And last but not least, she says, "Don't touch anything!"
I hear: "I have just stuck my hand down the back of my pull-up and there is poop on my fingers."

I am glad that my children help me find humor in motherhood.